tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post4717822544800547156..comments2024-03-21T03:16:24.053-04:00Comments on Playfully Learning: Please help! My Very Own War Play DilemmaDana Gorman, Playfully Learninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670651276458764116noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-19622618177009948322018-08-07T14:45:31.091-04:002018-08-07T14:45:31.091-04:00perfect post I want to add why not to play video g...perfect post I want to add why not to play video games of war I like war games and also have <a href="https://www.decal-design.com/" rel="nofollow">console skins</a> of call of duty.console skinshttps://www.decal-design.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-84257914546134149842012-02-18T15:24:28.517-05:002012-02-18T15:24:28.517-05:00This comes up for us in some form or another every...This comes up for us in some form or another every year. One of the tools we have for dealing with it is that all of our classroom rules come from the children themselves. Instead of a short list of broad, general rules, we wind up with a very, very long list that covers every possible and even impossible scenario. Not only do the children make the rules, but the rules are only adopted when we reach 100% consensus. <br /><br />I bring this up because the children always propose and adopt the rule: "No real or pretend weapons." Perhaps surprisingly, it is usually proposed by one of the guys who seems the most interested in playing these games, almost as if they're asking us to help them regulate themselves. I've read much of the same information you have and even have many very fond memories of my own childhood weapon play, so there is always a piece of me that wants to rebel when the kids make the rule, but there it is every year.<br /><br />This has the effect of sort of driving this kind of play "under ground," and although I often notice some of the boys continuing to secretly play guns, I let it go until it is either brought up by another child or a parent whose child has reported feeling frightened by it. For us the focus is always on the feelings of those who are frightened. We can always all agree that no one likes to be scared. <br /><br />Like Kathy suggests, it becomes a problem solving exercise for the kids, trying to figure out how to prevent others from feeling afraid. Typically, we agree to some version of having to ask others' permission before targeting them with our "fire hoses" or "freeze rays" (which is what the boys often creatively call their guns once the no weapons rule is made). Of course, it's rare for someone to agree to be a target, so the solution is often to declare some inanimate object is the bad guy.<br /><br />There is never a "perfect" solution, of course, but then again, we adults haven't really solved these problems either and our consequences are obviously far more dire.<br /><br />Another thought, one that we've tried with mixed results so far, is to guess that some aspect of this play is an exploration in physics rather than solely dramatic play. By giving children other ways to "target" something (throwing a ball through a hoop or a "spear" at a tree) seems to have taken up some of that energy, but we're still experimenting with that.Teacher Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14606781724784785338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-71574751124769641802012-02-14T16:53:52.751-05:002012-02-14T16:53:52.751-05:00The questioning of why they are deciding things in...The questioning of why they are deciding things in their play is actually working. I will be writing another post soon. I've been doing some work with are morning questions as well which I will post too. Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. I am glad you are enjoying my blog.Dana Gormanhttp://www.playfullylearning.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-64930723154744351562012-02-14T11:32:07.679-05:002012-02-14T11:32:07.679-05:00Boy, this situation sounds extremely frustrating f...Boy, this situation sounds extremely frustrating for everyone involved (kids, parents, staff) except the 4 or 5 who want to play this way. I have no suggestions, just wanted to say I'm impressed with the amount of thought you've put into this and wish you luck in resolving it to everyone's satisfaction.Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-87518584388962273842012-02-13T20:30:49.681-05:002012-02-13T20:30:49.681-05:00What if you asked them a question like, 'What ...What if you asked them a question like, 'What would happen if all the girls were killed?' or 'What makes girls so bad that they need to be killed?'. Obviously, answers like 'just because' or 'because it's fun' won't be acceptable. I envision a group (small group, whole group, maybe the play groups) discussion using a mind map or other graphic organizer identifying good and bad, or boys and girls. It may lead to learning about gender identity. It may lead to learning about conservation (or the lack thereof - my mind goes to old whaling practices, ... buffalo, clear cutting forests, fishing) and how our 'fun' impacts our environment. It may lead to learning about heroes, and how they don't go around killing girls. :-) It may lead to government, democracy, and civil protest, the concept of power and how to use it appropriately. It may lead to empathizing with victims of domestic violence and raising money for an organization that helps victims. I know that's pretty deep, but that's where my adult mind is going with this. <br /><br />The whole idea of asking them about their play is to understand their game, and for them to understand their game. I think it has to do with steps 2 and 3? When you understand their game then you can steer it in more positive directions.<br /><br />Then there is a point where 'no, playing kill the girls is not okay in this group' is the answer and their developing brains won't understand why and they'll have to trust you. <br /><br />I really enjoy your blog. I don't think I've ever commented before. Thank you,<br /><br />Kevin Harper, elementary ELL teacher for past 6 yearsKevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491232947444277514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-53134577704796309232012-02-13T16:17:09.316-05:002012-02-13T16:17:09.316-05:00Thank you for your response. Those are great sugg...Thank you for your response. Those are great suggestions. We have discussed it as a class, but only once. The solution that most kids wanted was for the game to stop, but the core 4-5 players continue to play the game despite being reminded of the class decision. I think it does merit further discussion. I will post again on this issue when I have gathered more feedback and tried some of the suggestions. Thank you!Dana Gormanhttp://playfullylearning.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4524585338670773379.post-2933892693052904722012-02-13T13:49:09.530-05:002012-02-13T13:49:09.530-05:00Wow, I think that's a first for me! At least t...Wow, I think that's a first for me! At least the blatantly identifying the girls as the "bad guys"! First I'd like to say "bravo" to you, Dana, for really trying to understand the developmental reasons they might be doing this (I read somewhere recently that any behavior that recurs so frequently probably has a basis in development) and for trying so hard to find a way to meet all the children's needs. <br /><br />With all that you've already done, I think my next step would be to take it back to the kids as a problem they need to solve. I think it will be important to include not only the boys who are play fighting but also some of the children who are bothered by it. Walk kids thru a problem-solving process, providing just enough scaffolding to help them not get stuck. (If it's helpful, here's an article that provides a description of the process for preschoolers. http://www.extension.org/pages/25762/ways-child-care-providers-can-teach-young-children-to-resolve-conflicts ) The first goal will be to help each "side" to get a glimpse of the perspective of the other side. The second goal is for them to understand that any solution they choose has to be okay with everyone. <br /><br />Have you done that kind of problem-solving with your kids before? It's AWESOME to see it work! And, like anything, the more they practice, the better they'll get. <br /><br />Do you think that might work in this situation? How many kids you involve in the problem-solving discussion is up to you - if it really is affecting the whole class, then maybe it's a "class meeting". But it might be more effective with just some of the kids who are the natural leaders in the class (you know who they are!) and who have the most advance social and communication skills. <br /><br />I hope you'll give an update after you've tried whatever suggestions from the comments look most feasible. This situation repeats itself in one form or another in LOTS of classrooms every day!Kathyhttp://www.facebook.com/childwiseresourcesnoreply@blogger.com